Yami & Mai:Hell is just another word for love
by Jam's Dragon
Summary: So love, or hell. Suffering comes under both ...what's the use in being happy, if you have to suffer in the process.


****

Little alternate Universe ficlet! Please enjoy and review!!

**Chapter 1**

_Ok. This is not funny, life really hurts me. _

_Yami._

_Well, I don't know, it just seems...as if nothing goes right. I never need to take my make up off because it usually gets cried off. If only Yami knew the agony I went through. _

_He's gone away. I know he's still in the same country, but I'm so scared I'll lose him._

As the feverish cold drove on, Mai knew the next few days would be the most agonising for a while. All her friends told her she was being really silly, but how was that? The only reason Mai ever cried was because of Yami. He'd hurt her a lot in the past, but the last time they argued to the point of splitting up, she wanted to die. She'd never felt so low. It was painful. He was so off with her, and she cried relentlessly, like when she said goodbye at the station. Oh well...it could have ripped her apart, although it could have been worse.

She slit her arm. She couldn't do her wrists. She was too squeamish. Just as well, because she was so damn low, she _considered_ suicide.

She sat, staring into the mirror opposite. Blinking every now and then she hardly moved, the cold around her almost unbearable, but still just sat, silently worrying.

 Of course, she talked to Joey and Tristan about her fears, but always made it into a joke; like she did with everything. People tended to laugh at her misfortune so it was her shield; her own way of denying the hurt she was subjected to. If she made herself into a joke, others wouldn't have to.

"Shit, tonight it's that damn party. I know I can trust him.........when we're together. I wish someone would be with me tonight. Just………someone who would listen to me, not laugh, not spread malicious gossip. I'm off to see grandpa soon. If I don't take my phone, and Yami rings me, I'll risk him being pissed off with me, so he might see it appropriate to cheat on me. I don't know. I feel so trapped…"

**_Carry me away. Happy now. I wonder are you, happy now?_**

Fireworks let off, around her area. A single candle flickered by her side. No-one appreciated her love for fire, it was all too dangerous. Alright, so she'd set a few things on fire but people have accidents in cars. That doesn't mean they're not allowed to drive. The odd mixture of fire, pirates and dragons intrigued her.

**_What goes around goes around. What goes up must come down._**

Life hurts.

Her cold, limp hand reached for the lonely mascara to her left. Shaking as she picked it up, a tear dripped down her face. The phone rang. Mai stopped. A cold shiver went through her. She heard it clearly wasn't for her. What was she to do? She had tried _so_ hard recently to make Yami want her and no-one else. Cracks so blatantly obvious appeared in her attitude, she was scared. Surely the next few days wouldn't be so painful. Mai put the mascara to her lashes, slowly, her shaking hand violently rocking. Her face illuminated in the light. Her hair, streaked blonde/brown, tied neatly out of the way, a blue streak by her face. 

Still the odd, emotionless, vacant blink interrupted her motionless actions.

By the time she had finished her mascara, the wax of her candle had greatly massed. The cold became suddenly worse, like a blanket of hatred and fear. The melted wax symbolised her health. Her feelings, emotions, all mixed up.

An hour or so later she returned from seeing her granddad. She spoke to Yami, feeling stupid for questioning him; she wasn't daft enough to question him.

She rode over the quizzicals in her head. Her eyes scanned the room, in search of her matches.

 'Ah, there!' she exclaimed. What used to smell so vibrantly nice, now gave her an awful headache. In seconds the candle was off again, burning. Mai looked longingly, before mouthing the words 'fire – the root of my emotions.'

She got up, and turned round to see a text on her phone.

 "Oh fucking hell!' she shouted. Yami had sure as anything sent her a text message, saying some girl said thank you for a card. Get well soon? Right. 'Er, how many cards have my family had off that bastard? One, after 18 months. Great, he knows this bitch for like, 15 minutes and already he's sending her fucking cards."

She turned round, and realised no-one heard her words of anguish, she was so used to Yami being there that she just sighed at herself in disgust for her sheer stupidity.

He said. Well, apparently he misses me, can't wait to get to me, I'm sure that text was meant for someone else. Stupid trick or treaters. I wish they'd all burn. ALL of them. They are seriously pissing me off. What gives them the fucking right to go round harassing people who have the decency to stay of the street. I can hear someone howling, if only they'd been run over, or mauled by some REAL monster. That would be good. Well. I know Yami; he'll go out drinking after this party. I wish I was there. We wouldn't be talking though. We'd be in a lone room. Oh shit now I'm having visions of him dancing with other girls. Well, put it this way, I know I'm lost without him, but I can make myself feel better. Well, flirting with Joey wasn't the best idea, gave him totally the wrong idea. Shit, it's freezing.

After a great deal of time alone, listening to depressing music, Mai shivered, and decided to ring Yami. It rang…………… and rang………… and rang.

Her eyes widened with an idea. 

"Glass," she mouthed. She broke a glass the other day and was nearly stupid enough to tell Yami that she was thinking of keeping some. She wondered silently if it had been thrown away yet. Shame if it had.

 'Burning glass against my frozen skin.'

Her skin was pale; she'd never been one to tan. She tried when she was on holiday but never really went anywhere overly hot. Mai suddenly went faint, she felt ill. The next thing she knew, half-consciously, was a sharp pain in the back of her head.

Fuck! What was the noise? The pain? Who are these people? Why are they offering me cigarettes? I don't want to die of smoking, but they're all offering me. Oh, this is so weird.

'Ugh'. Life wasn't treating Mai well. She sat up slowly, looking around. What had happened? Her chair was toppled over. She must have fallen. She grabbed her phone. Nothing there. 

'Great', she sighed. She lay there, still as the night. Rain thundered against her window. Again, a tear dripped from her eye, a massacre of her hair over her face. 

Why hadn't he sent her a text message. Who was he with? 

'Where are you?'

'Oh, I'm here now, at the party'. Her heart stopped. He said he'd text when he left.

'Oh, ok.'

'I can't text, Bakura's got my phone'

The usual goodbye. The strains of having to say _love you, _trying _to sound like he means it. Mai stood up, knocked her candle onto the floor, without realising. She breathed heavily leaning on her arms and bed._

She sobbed, tears streaming down her face, the usual mascarary mess down her cheeks. She raised her head slightly, a crackling noise made her look round suddenly.

"Shit!"

 Her box of college work was on fire. She went to scream, but knew her parents would be so mad. After what seemed like hours of waiting, in the orange flames, scalding her skin, drying the tears. She looked around and found the only liquid she could find; so she threw a dirty glass of water to stop further tragedy happening.

 It seemed to work.

She walked over to the ashy mess in her box. Her knees fell from beneath her. Her world seemed to be falling apart. Her friends seemed so disinterested in her, and she couldn't keep the one thing she truly wanted, no, _needed_ to make her happy.

That night, she cried herself to sleep. After two-faced promises to keep his phone on, Yami was uncontactable.  Mai felt herself falling…into sleep, or death, either way she wasn't too bothered, she just wanted out of her life.

She sat bolt upright. Around her was darkness, her head turned left, to see it was 3.04.

 _Yami, said he'd text me every night before he went to bed, the fucking liar. _

She grabbed her phone, and dialled his number.

"Hello?'

'Yami.'

'Oh hi.'

'Why are you still awake?'

'Oh the others are just getting a taxi now.'

'What others?' she listened intently, as he recalled five girls' names, and one gay lad. Like a knife through her heart, she once more felt the hurt in her head, and her heart. She knew if she hung up, he'd go off with one of them, do God only knows what... 

He didn't show any remorse, but sent her a text shortly after saying 'you're not going to ruin my stay, don't bother.' 

She cried………and cried. The ring, which she promised to not remove while he was away, was carelessly thrown to the side of her table.

She lay awake, tears staining her delicate skin. She was trapped. She wanted him so much, but at the same time, she couldn't have wanted him any less.

 An hour had passed, yet sleep would not come. She tossed and turned, trying anything to drop off. She certainly considered that broken glass below her, as a positive point at that time. 

Why? Why would she bother with such a fucking two-faced bastard? She didn't have anyone to turn to. Not a single soul. Her only friend, being sharp objects.

Never these days, could she have a lie in, she _always awoke at around eight or nine, but today, she slept in until 12. Why? No-one seemed to have stirred her. Her sad, pathetic little life, turned from bad to worse every minute that went past._

'Yami doesn't have a clue what I'm going through. I hope he's happy, because he's well and truly lost me now,' she murmured. Fearing what would come next, she knew she had to do something to distract her for as long as possible.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


End file.
